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Archive for August, 2008

No, you don’t—but the right kind of stretching might make you stronger. Most of us, when we think of stretching, think of static stretching (i.e., elongating a muscle to the point of discomfort and holding it). But this type of stretch has limited benefit in weight training; it might even make you weaker by relaxing your muscles and reducing blood flow to them. Dynamic stretching— moving a muscle in and out of a stretched position—is another matter entirely. It increases your “active” flexibility, which helps your muscles stretch quickly in various positions, and boosts blood flow— beneficial for any sport, including weight lifting. Here’s one of my favorite dynamic-stretch routines: body-weight lunge, squat, trunk rotation, leg swing, and arm circle. Do one set of 10 reps of each exercise before you work out.

Blood donors give about a pint of blood without ill effects. Yet the same amount of blood pouring from a wound seems pretty serious. How much blood can we lose without danger?

answer:
The average person can lose a pint of blood without danger, and that is why this is the amount usually chosen for blood donating. However, the loss of blood from a wound should always be taken seriously. At a blood donating center, a pint of blood is given under carefully controlled conditions. In the case of accidental bleeding, not only would it be hard to judge the amount of blood being lost, but there is the added risk of infection from germs that may enter a wound. It has been shown that the body can lose up to a third of its blood supply (about four pints for the average person) without apparent serious effect, but the loss of half the body’s blood is almost always fatal, and even the loss of two pints of blood will often cause shock.

The average adult has about five to six quarts of blood, flowing through some 60,000 miles of blood vessels. The blood makes a complete journey round the body about once a minute, carrying water and oxygen to all the cells and collecting waste products from them, circulating hormones, and distributing antibodies to fight infection.

Does a big person have more blood than a small one?

Yes. We have about one pint of blood for every 12 pounds of body weight. And for every excess pound of weight we gain, the body has to build an extra mile of blood vessels— another sobering thought for the overweight!

First, cut him some slack. Is it possible that his intellectual assets are simply different from yours? Maybe his strength lies in patiently gathering facts and avoiding costly errors or in dealing with the corporate brass, something you wouldn’t like to do. A low-key demeanor that you take for lack of intellect and leadership may actually be a style that’s well suited to your company’s management structure. My point is that you have to be objective. Understand that many of us feel frustrated when our superiors seem to exhibit limitations. After all, bosses are parent figures, and they remind some of us of the pain we endured when we discovered our parents were fallible. Some of us respond with lifelong conflict with authority figures. To break that cycle, try to collaborate with him and be supportive. Ask him for opportunities to display your skills. If you find that he is not willing to help you grow professionally, get out and find someone who will.

It makes you a typical American worker. We work 200 more hours per year now than we did in 1970. The average American man works upwards of 50 hours per week, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. So, on the surface, you appear to be the norm, not the exception. Only you can tell if your work lifestyle is unhealthy for your body and your family relationships. Reflecting on the following elements of a healthy work-life balance will help you determine whether or not you have a problem:
(1) You enjoy your work.
(2) You feel challenged but not overwhelmed.
(3) You feel you are contributing to a purpose bigger than yourself.
(4) You have time to keep physically fit.
(5) You are not living beyond your means.
(6) You are connected to your family.
(7) You have time to yourself.

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My wife claims she doesn’t have a G spot. Is that possible?

answer:
Not if she’s a woman. We all have one. However, not all women are responsive to G-spot stimulation, and some simply don’t enjoy it. Others say G-spot orgasms are much more intense than those achieved through clitoral stimulation. I think you and your wife should go find her G-spot. Call it a treasure hunt minus the pirate’s eye patch. Here’s what you’re looking for: a small bean-size spot of spongy tissue located in the front wall of the vagina, almost directly below the urethra. You don’t need a GPS; just explore the area with your finger by applying firm, rhythmic pressure upward. How do you know when you’ve found it? You’ll feel it swell—as large as a dime—when it’s stimulated. Besides, she’ll let you know with oohs and aahs.

My wife’s sex drive is barely in sear, and she’s only 35. Should she take the “female Viagra” we’ve read about?

answer:
The “female Viagra” you’re referring to is the same drug men use, except recently it’s been tested on women. Viagra can increase your wife’s sensations of warmth and engorgement in the genital area and even enhance orgasm. But that’s arousal, not libido, or what you call “sex drive.” So before you even suggest she try Viagra or one of the other prescription medicines like it, you need to determine what’s really behind your wife’s lack of interest in sex. Start by forgetting about sex. See, often the root of the problem is a communication or happiness issue. Try being romantic with your wife outside of the bedroom, taking her out on dinner dates and doing things she likes to do. Showing her your empathy and love should empower her to open up about underlying pressures in her life.

But let’s say the cause isn’t emotional. If you used to have a strong sex life, chances are she is aware of the change and will be open to talking about potential physical causes. Is she experiencing vaginal pain? Has she started taking an antidepressant? (Some prescription drugs can dampen libido.) Encourage her to talk with her doctor. Within the safe haven of a loving relationship, couples should be able to talk about anything, even sexual dysfunction. It’s a complicated issue, one that popping a pill won’t remedy.

I quit my church 20 years ago, and I don’t really believe. But I do feel the need for a spiritual life. How do I get one?

answer:
We develop spirituality by leading a life that has meaning and purpose. So you need to search for something bigger than you, something outside of the self, to give you fulfillment. That purpose may be generated by devotion to a religion or by work for the betterment of a community; it can be an effort to feed the hungry or raise emotionally healthy children. Our busy lives of work and obligations can keep us from fully developing our spiritual side. Don’t let that happen. Question your values. Can they sustain a higher purpose? Do they enhance something outside your self? The Latin root for spirituality is spiritus, which means “breath.” Maybe you can start by stopping to catch your breath.

My wife constantly complains that I don’t carry my load of housework, even though she’s well aware that I do all the heavy chores outdoors. How do I settle this fight?

answer:
When a wife complains about her husband not doing housework, it’s rarely about dirty dishes but rather about dirty laundry. An unresolved conflict is causing her irritation. You need to uncover the message behind her complaints. Most women won’t reveal what’s really bugging them in the heat of an argument, so wait until things quiet down. Try to give your wife the sense that it’s safe to discuss what she’s feeling and thinking. You do this with a tone of voice that says you are okay with her feeling the way she’s feeling. Try calmly mirroring what you see: “You were upset with me earlier today when I didn’t help pick up the living room. I wonder if there was something else that was upsetting you.” Promise yourself that you’ll listen without getting defensive. The goal is to understand what’s really troubling her. She may feel unappreciated. Re sodding the backyard won’t address that. Ask her what will. Better yet, use your imagination.

You can’t force your son to follow your path, but you can model away of life that he might want to emulate. Are you doing that? Does he see that you enjoy your work? Has the business contributed to the family’s well-being? If the business kept you from spending time with him as a child, he may have very negative feelings toward it. Remember, many children join the family business after working in the outside world for a while. For now, work on your relationship with him. Support his current interests and learn about them. You want him to see the prospect of working alongside you in the business as an enjoyable situation, one that’s based on mutual respect, where each of you can learn from the other. This approach will bring him back.