Wife constantly complains
My wife constantly complains that I don’t carry my load of housework, even though she’s well aware that I do all the heavy chores outdoors. How do I settle this fight?
answer:
When a wife complains about her husband not doing housework, it’s rarely about dirty dishes but rather about dirty laundry. An unresolved conflict is causing her irritation. You need to uncover the message behind her complaints. Most women won’t reveal what’s really bugging them in the heat of an argument, so wait until things quiet down. Try to give your wife the sense that it’s safe to discuss what she’s feeling and thinking. You do this with a tone of voice that says you are okay with her feeling the way she’s feeling. Try calmly mirroring what you see: “You were upset with me earlier today when I didn’t help pick up the living room. I wonder if there was something else that was upsetting you.” Promise yourself that you’ll listen without getting defensive. The goal is to understand what’s really troubling her. She may feel unappreciated. Re sodding the backyard won’t address that. Ask her what will. Better yet, use your imagination.