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I quit my church 20 years ago, and I don’t really believe. But I do feel the need for a spiritual life. How do I get one?

answer:
We develop spirituality by leading a life that has meaning and purpose. So you need to search for something bigger than you, something outside of the self, to give you fulfillment. That purpose may be generated by devotion to a religion or by work for the betterment of a community; it can be an effort to feed the hungry or raise emotionally healthy children. Our busy lives of work and obligations can keep us from fully developing our spiritual side. Don’t let that happen. Question your values. Can they sustain a higher purpose? Do they enhance something outside your self? The Latin root for spirituality is spiritus, which means “breath.” Maybe you can start by stopping to catch your breath.

My wife constantly complains that I don’t carry my load of housework, even though she’s well aware that I do all the heavy chores outdoors. How do I settle this fight?

answer:
When a wife complains about her husband not doing housework, it’s rarely about dirty dishes but rather about dirty laundry. An unresolved conflict is causing her irritation. You need to uncover the message behind her complaints. Most women won’t reveal what’s really bugging them in the heat of an argument, so wait until things quiet down. Try to give your wife the sense that it’s safe to discuss what she’s feeling and thinking. You do this with a tone of voice that says you are okay with her feeling the way she’s feeling. Try calmly mirroring what you see: “You were upset with me earlier today when I didn’t help pick up the living room. I wonder if there was something else that was upsetting you.” Promise yourself that you’ll listen without getting defensive. The goal is to understand what’s really troubling her. She may feel unappreciated. Re sodding the backyard won’t address that. Ask her what will. Better yet, use your imagination.

You can’t force your son to follow your path, but you can model away of life that he might want to emulate. Are you doing that? Does he see that you enjoy your work? Has the business contributed to the family’s well-being? If the business kept you from spending time with him as a child, he may have very negative feelings toward it. Remember, many children join the family business after working in the outside world for a while. For now, work on your relationship with him. Support his current interests and learn about them. You want him to see the prospect of working alongside you in the business as an enjoyable situation, one that’s based on mutual respect, where each of you can learn from the other. This approach will bring him back.

What’s the best way to do strength workout when I’m on the road and don’t nave access to a gym?

answer:
The most important thing to do if you travel frequently is to establish a “ritual workout” you always do. If you have to make up something on the spot, you’re more likely to skip your training. One of my favorite in-the-hotel-room strength workouts involves only two exercises: A single circuit consists of five “pistols” on each leg and five explosive pushups. Although you need only 15 minutes to work out (every other day), you will maintain your muscle mass. Time yourself and see how many circuits you can complete in 15 minutes; try to beat that the next time. PISTOLS (for right leg; switch legs for the left side)

1.Start in a standing position with a chair behind you. Extend your arms in front of you and extend your left leg forward.

2.Balancing on your right leg, slowly descend until your butt touches the chair; return to the starting position by reversing this motion. (Keep your foot flat on the ground.) Too difficult? Use a higher chair, or put pillows on the chair to raise the seat. PUSHUPS

3.Start from the standard pushup position and, maintaining a rigid torso, lower your chest toward the floor. Then push up explosively, ideally getting some air on the movement.

I run about 60 miles a week, but my legs look like twigs. How can I beef them up?

answer:
Here’s a plan that will pack lean muscle onto those chicken legs in just 6 weeks. Ever notice the wheels on world-class sprinters? Sprinting builds muscle, so replace two long runs every week with intense speed intervals of 100 to 400 yards. Run a total of 600 to 800 yards for each workout (for example, eight 100-yard sprints or two 400-yard sprints). Run at close to maximum intensity for each sprint. Also, do lower-body exercises twice a week, which is enough to help you add muscle but not so much that you won’t be able to completely recover between workouts. I recommend squats and lunges using a challenging weight; do three to five sets, with five to eight repetitions per set. This time-tested, effective combination will get you the results you’re after.

I’m relocating to a new city. How do I find the best public school for my kids?

answer:
Start your search at great schools.net Enter the desired city in the search window and you’ll get a list of all the local schools, which you can then compare side by side in academics, state test scores, student-to-teacher ratio, and economic level. There are even parent reviews to help you further narrow the field. Once you find a few schools that sound appealing, visit them in person. “Test scores are only part of the equation,” says Brandi Roth, Ph.D., coauthor of Choosing the Right School for Your Child. “You have to get a feel for the school.”

Ask pointed questions during your visits: (1) What is the annual rate of staff turnover? Anything higher than 10 percent and you should look into the reason why, says Roth. (2) How qualified is the staff? Look for an average of 3 years’ experience, and ask where they were educated. A study by the Illinois Education Research Council found that in high schools with poorly qualified teachers Cudged by licensing exam scores, colleges attended, and years of experience), only 15 percent of students were prepared for college. In schools with highly qualified teachers, that number rose to 50 percent.

Also, “notice whether your questions are met with candid answers,” says Roth. “If they’re not, think about how they’ll disseminate information to you in the future.”

My wife and I are having a son. I want him circumcised. She doesn’t. Is one way better than the other, healthwise?

answer:
No. Some physicians might tell you that circumcision can prevent urinary-tract infections in infants and reduce the risk of penile cancer and STD transmission in adults, but the situation isn’t that clear-cut, so to speak. “After looking at 40 years of research, we found that the health benefits are not so significant as to create a national recommendation to circumcise,” says Alan Fleischman, M.D., a member of the American Academy of Pediatrics’ task force on circumcision.

Of much greater concern are the procedure’s sexual repercussions. When a doctor performs a circumcision, “he removes up to 50 percent of the skin on the penile shaft—skin that would normally grow into about 12 square inches of highly erogenous tissue,” says Ronald Goldman, Ph.D., executive director of the Circumcision Resource Center (circumcision.org), in Boston. “Men circumcised as adults describe the difference in pleasure as seeing in black-and-white as opposed to color.” Studies also show, says Goldman, that the experience can have long-term psychological repercussions, ranging from sexual phobias to posttraumatic stress disorder. That said, if you yourself are circumcised or support the procedure on religious grounds, you might still want to lobby your wife in favor of circumcision. “Boys who grow up cut differently than their fathers or community members can be affected emotionally and psychologically,” says Fleisch-man. “That needs to be taken into account when the final choice is made.”