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My boss screamed at me, and now there’s a frosty tension between us. Flow can I get things back to normal?

answer:
Being screamed at is never pleasant, and there’s far too much of it in the workplace. If anybody outside of the office yelled at you the way senior officers sometimes do, you’d punch him in the face. But into each career some spit shall fall, and you’re not a wuss. You can take it. Don’t reward the boss’ bullying with craven behavior. Stand tall and get right back on the horse. Try not to take it personally. Very often, the yeller is simply managing his anxiety in the only manner he knows how—by using you as a punching bag. Persistent sadistic treatment, however, calls for a level of Zen detachment mastered only by the sages of the ages. Adopt an indifferent “fuc*it” attitude. If you can’t do it in body, at least do so in spirit. A storm doesn’t seem so bad when you’re flying above it.

I’m working 16 hours a day, 5 or 6 days a week. I can’t go on like this. What can I do to survive the grind?

answer:
Stop whining, you wimp. You think people make big coin by clocking in a puny 10-hour day? I assure you, they don’t. The big earners relentlessly drive themselves, thinking about the business 23/7— leaving 1 hour for deep REM sleep, and even then they’re dreaming about work. They champ at the bit to bolt out of the house in the morning and hit the beaches with all the ammo they’ve got. Pain? Exhaustion? Spiritual malaise? Forget about it. If you’re already in the top 1 percent of wage slaves in your company, go buy yourself a big-ass TV and suck it up. If, on the other hand, you’re killing yourself for middling money while others cash in stock options and purchase their little slab of lake front heaven, then I can sympathize … but only a little. Here’s a rule of thumb: If you’re not earning 5 percent of what your CEO is making
(including his bonus), you shouldn’t mortgage your soul and your health for the company store. Cut back your hours to merely insane, and when they bitch to you about it, tell them what I just told you.

We’ve all been on the receiving end of the call: the intrusion you grumpily field at work or in the middle of dinner. Here’s how to craft your opener when you’re on the other end of the line.

“First, know who you are talking to, what their issues are and what they need from you,” says Wendy Weiss, a New York-based sales trainer. “Don’t say ‘Hi, I’m Sue, and I sell insurance,’ Try ‘Hi, I’m Sue. I work with a lot of people in your neighborhood, and my expertise is helping people make sure their families are taken care of.’” This also works if you’re fund-raising for a charity; in 1991 Weiss started an AIDS-education dance project. Her phone lead was “We’re the only dance company that saves the lives of children.” If you’re asking for an informational interview, introduce yourself, then say “I’m thinking of switching fields, and I was wondering if you could help me learn more about your industry.” Most people, Weiss says, really do like to help.
And the ones who don’t are probably just in the middle of dinner.

Tragedy, unfortunately, is a given. What to say by way of consolation in times of sickness, death, a cheating spouse, unemployment or plastic surgery gone wrong is not.

Word of wisdom
I remember when your dad … “And then they share a wonderful
memory or story or tell me something about his joie de vivre or some great moment I didn’t know about.”

I’d really like to help with Y “Most people just say, ‘Let me know if you need anything.’ The idea is nice, but get specific when you offer. Then I don’t have to cough it up and make the call.”

I see him in you “I appreciate hearing about a quality of his that we share.”

Being in positions of power, we’re often tempted to flaunt it by criticizing subordinates. Criticism is bad any way you look at it. Encouragement is a better bet. Make subordinates feel the need to improve themselves – not get another job! End result?
The subordinate is on a continuous improvement curve, and you get a competent worker.
Criticizing a person’s failures will only compound his belief that he’s not up to task. Motivating him to keep going, however, will make him rise to the challenge.

We can become incredibly self-centered when it comes to preserving our power. But have you considered how you could use your subordinates to compound the power you already have? By thinking of them as allies instead of subordinates, you expand your power base over twofold: Your knowledge, their knowledge, and the combined synergy of both. But your subordinate must first feel he has some sort of power to begin with. To do this, help build him a reputation he must live up to. You have a reputation. Perhaps you’re a gifted marketer – you make sure your sales never hit a slump. Similarly, once you recognize a particular talent in him (say, he’s a good speaker), give him the opportunity to shine. Let him carve a name for himself. With your subordinates presentation skills and your acute marketing instinct, you’re a killer team. Your power base can only grow stronger.

Much as we’d like to give our subordinates everything they want, sometimes it really is just not possible. Like changing working hours, for instance: You may be powerful, but you’re not that powerful. Yet, how are you to convey that message to him without losing his respect? Easy: By never promising him anything. If you get into the habit of saying yes to every request, they’re going to come to expect that response, no matter what. Instead, say, “I’ll try,” even for the really easy stuff. You know you can get your subordinate a new PC, but there’s no need for him to know it. When he does get his new machine, he’ll like you very much for trying hard to get it for him. There might even be a glimmer of respect. But he didn’t really think you could do it -therein lies your ace.

As long as you keep him guessing about how powerful you really
are in the company,two great things will happen:
First, he won’t come running to you every time he needs something -his first course of action will be to try and figure it out himself. Second, he’s not going to campaign  against  you because he’s under the impression that you’re a nobody anyway. This makes it easier to work with him and vice versa. Power is useful when people can recognize it. But sometimes, it’s even more useful when they can’t.

We’ve all got an enemy or two at work, someone either above us or below us, waiting for his or her chance to plot our downfall. But enemies and allies are cultivated, not made. If you’re already a likeable person, then you’ve no doubt won over your subordinates. Now, what about your peers? Your superiors? How can you avoid turning them into enemies? The simple answer is to not offend them. You can do that by not telling them they’re wrong to their face. Instead, find more diplomatic ways of bringing them around to your point of view. An easy way to do that is to feign ignorance… if only for a while. If your boss has asked you to do a project you know is doomed to failure, do not tell him straight-faced that it’ll never work. Instead, say something like, “You think it’ll work? I thought it wouldn’t. I could be wrong, of course. But let’s go over this again, just to be sure…” See? The easiest way to avoid making enemies is to not do unto them what you’d not want them to do unto you.

Power is not all petunias and orchids. First, there’s the constant resentment you’ve to deal with among subordinates – especially if they’re older than you. The constant bickering that goes on behind your back, making your job a friendless one. And the responsibility: You’re accountable for your team’s performance.

Power is a nasty thing indeed. But it doesn’t have to be that way. If used with care, power can help you achieve much more. Just remember the golden rule about getting people to do what you want: Making them want to do it.

Think back to when you were in school. You can perhaps recall how you had to elect people into positions of power: The class monitor, head prefect, club president. Now, ask yourself why you elected whoever you did. It’s probably because you liked her. This business of being likable cannot be trivialized. It’s hard to give your subordinate everything he wants. There is a solution, though. There’s nothing better than having subordinates that like you.

Delegation is one of those peculiar management skills we pay so little attention to, but yet it is so very important to our sanity and to how we perform on our jobs. The reason is obvious: Because we want to look good, we want everything in our department done right… and what better way than by doing it ourselves, right?
Wrong. If you were hired, say, as a Finance Manager for your company, you’re supposed to be spending your time figuring out where you ought to invest the company’s money… not whether all the bills have been paid.
Sure, if all the bills are paid, your department looks good. But it’s not what the company is paying you for. That’s what your Accounts Clerk (for argument’s sake, we’ll call him Charlie) is for. Delegating work is crucial to any leader’s success – why do you think company directors and CEOs are always busy playing golf?

Delegating tips

Refine the description of the task on paper till it appears as you want it. Only then should you delegate it.

Record your discussions with your subordinate, and get him to do the same. Then have him repeat what has been said to ensure he understands what you need.

Refrain from panicking and doing the task yourself if you suspect your subordinate may not be able to deliver. Give him the benefit of doubt, and follow up on the task frequently.