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I’d like to expand my social circle but I can’t imagine making new friends at my age now.

answer:
You don’t have to introduce yourself to total strangers just to expand your social circle. Instead, try this: Approach a friend-in-law- that is, a friend of a friend. your best friend’s colleague seems nice? Invite her to go shopping. And the next time you’re at a house party, grab some drinks and offer some to the friends-in-law you always bump into but haven’t bothered to talk to. As we grow older, it’s easy to stay in our comfort zones and stick to the same group of friends. But you’d be surprised at how new friendships can expand your world, with just a little effort. Friends-in-law are the easiest way to break out of that rut. Plus, in case the conversation dies, you’ll always have a common friend you can talk about!

The women at work wear dresses that show off their shapes, is it kosher to compliment them?

answer:
If a woman is on your level exactly, you may tell her she looks nice. If she’s subordinate, you may not. Period. If she is not in your department, makes more money than you, and has a superior title, tell her she looks very nice indeed. Under no circumstances, however, may you touch her—not even to remove a piece of invisible lint. And don’t think she’s oblivious to your looks. She knows. They always know.

Why do backstabbers get ahead? Must I become one?

answer:
Senior company officials who promote backstabbing employees are total assholes, too, aren’t they? Why should they reward your civilized behavior when it’s a reproof of everything they stand for? They’re far more comfortable promoting someone who is brutal, selfish, and mean. They know that guy. He’s them. The good news is that your road, although harder, is definitely the happier of the two. Don’t become a creep. You’ll eventually triumph by building consensus, performing with distinction, and fighting face-to-face with your backstabbing colleague. Good guys almost always do fine in the long run. If things aren’t going your way now, wait a minute. Time is on your side.

First, cut him some slack. Is it possible that his intellectual assets are simply different from yours? Maybe his strength lies in patiently gathering facts and avoiding costly errors or in dealing with the corporate brass, something you wouldn’t like to do. A low-key demeanor that you take for lack of intellect and leadership may actually be a style that’s well suited to your company’s management structure. My point is that you have to be objective. Understand that many of us feel frustrated when our superiors seem to exhibit limitations. After all, bosses are parent figures, and they remind some of us of the pain we endured when we discovered our parents were fallible. Some of us respond with lifelong conflict with authority figures. To break that cycle, try to collaborate with him and be supportive. Ask him for opportunities to display your skills. If you find that he is not willing to help you grow professionally, get out and find someone who will.

My wife claims she doesn’t have a G spot. Is that possible?

answer:
Not if she’s a woman. We all have one. However, not all women are responsive to G-spot stimulation, and some simply don’t enjoy it. Others say G-spot orgasms are much more intense than those achieved through clitoral stimulation. I think you and your wife should go find her G-spot. Call it a treasure hunt minus the pirate’s eye patch. Here’s what you’re looking for: a small bean-size spot of spongy tissue located in the front wall of the vagina, almost directly below the urethra. You don’t need a GPS; just explore the area with your finger by applying firm, rhythmic pressure upward. How do you know when you’ve found it? You’ll feel it swell—as large as a dime—when it’s stimulated. Besides, she’ll let you know with oohs and aahs.

My wife’s sex drive is barely in sear, and she’s only 35. Should she take the “female Viagra” we’ve read about?

answer:
The “female Viagra” you’re referring to is the same drug men use, except recently it’s been tested on women. Viagra can increase your wife’s sensations of warmth and engorgement in the genital area and even enhance orgasm. But that’s arousal, not libido, or what you call “sex drive.” So before you even suggest she try Viagra or one of the other prescription medicines like it, you need to determine what’s really behind your wife’s lack of interest in sex. Start by forgetting about sex. See, often the root of the problem is a communication or happiness issue. Try being romantic with your wife outside of the bedroom, taking her out on dinner dates and doing things she likes to do. Showing her your empathy and love should empower her to open up about underlying pressures in her life.

But let’s say the cause isn’t emotional. If you used to have a strong sex life, chances are she is aware of the change and will be open to talking about potential physical causes. Is she experiencing vaginal pain? Has she started taking an antidepressant? (Some prescription drugs can dampen libido.) Encourage her to talk with her doctor. Within the safe haven of a loving relationship, couples should be able to talk about anything, even sexual dysfunction. It’s a complicated issue, one that popping a pill won’t remedy.

My wife constantly complains that I don’t carry my load of housework, even though she’s well aware that I do all the heavy chores outdoors. How do I settle this fight?

answer:
When a wife complains about her husband not doing housework, it’s rarely about dirty dishes but rather about dirty laundry. An unresolved conflict is causing her irritation. You need to uncover the message behind her complaints. Most women won’t reveal what’s really bugging them in the heat of an argument, so wait until things quiet down. Try to give your wife the sense that it’s safe to discuss what she’s feeling and thinking. You do this with a tone of voice that says you are okay with her feeling the way she’s feeling. Try calmly mirroring what you see: “You were upset with me earlier today when I didn’t help pick up the living room. I wonder if there was something else that was upsetting you.” Promise yourself that you’ll listen without getting defensive. The goal is to understand what’s really troubling her. She may feel unappreciated. Re sodding the backyard won’t address that. Ask her what will. Better yet, use your imagination.